Santa Cruz, CA—

I don’t like texting. It reduces what could be great conversation to a few dull short sentences. Honestly it might just be me and my own problems. But nobody is better at solving my own problems than I am. So, this is me solving it.

And what is this solution you might ask? It’s kind of like texting, messages back and forth, but this time it’s in my own territory. It’s a place where I can share my long-winded thoughts easily and expressively, and where I don’t have to use a dreaded iPhone keyboard to type (I will die on this hill).

I originally said I would present this idea to you in “a few days”. And even though every sane person in the world would agree that “a few” means exactly three, I like going against the grain and have decided that “a few” means exactly four days in this case. But it’s not all just arbitrary! I have my reasons.

I was cut a day short because, as you’ve probably noticed by peaking ahead at the photos, I spent part of my week venturing through Santa Cruz. My original plan was to meet up with my friend, Corbin, at Cowell Beach in the morning and have him teach me how to surf. Then, after an hour or so we would pack up and get working at a coffee shop (it was a workday afterall), and after I would head on home and finish this letter. But what was originally planned for a few hours turned out to be a full day endeavour.

I blame it on the magical pull that Santa Cruz has over me. It’s never part of the plan but I find myself coming here more often – each time discovering something new bringing me back for more. This time it was surfing.

The heat from the sun made walking into the ocean much easier than I expected. I had previously had somewhat of an irrational fear of the ocean, but not even after two minutes had passed I was knee-deep, board-in-hand attacking the waves. When I first got on the board I had the balance of a baby first learning how to walk. I immediately became aware of all my small balancing muscles that are severely underused in everyday life. Corbin got quite a kick out of watching me tip over and struggle to stay balanced, but luckily after some initial trial and error I was able to get the hang of it.

Over the course of a few hours I was able to successfully catch and stand up on a handful of waves. The first time I stood up it was so quick that it took me a second to even realize what was really going on. I can’t really compare the feeling to something I previously experienced, that feeling of being gently-but-forcefully pushed by an external force. I really only got a small taste of what surfing is and what it could be. It seems like there is so much still to discover; that will probably be left to the following weeks.

After surfing, Corbin invited me to his house deep in the Santa Cruz mountains. We drove halfway down Highway 17 between Santa Clara and Santa Cruz and turned into this small street which, little did I know, opened up into another world. There were miles of winding roads, beautiful homes and wineries, and mountain folk straight out of your favorite childhood story. I was shocked to find out this other world was right under my nose and I didn’t even notice it.

Come sunset we drove around to find the best view, and our search led us to the spot you see pictured. It was an absolutely beautiful view. I don’t know what it is about these scenes, but they just make me reassess my life and put everything in perspective. Looking at this view I kept thinking about how great of a day I had and how good this world has been to me. I also thought of you.

There is something about Santa Cruz that makes me think of you. When I was surfing I was reminded about your life in Hawai’i and your punny instagram handle. When I was looking upon this view I was reminded about that beautiful sunset we were lucky enough to catch. I enjoy being reminded of you.

Now that you’re gone I realize I have a choice: leave these reminders of you up to chance or be intentional about them. I hadn’t realized these choices on the day you left. It was only until after that I realized what decisions I have to make. But like other decisions in my life, I don’t want to leave this one by chance. After all, you are a good girl and I like you; that is enough for me.